Weakly(sic!) report
I listen to the friend lifeline music on Youtube. Some inner part of me wants that thing, I don't know exactly what, to finish. The kitten is growing up quickly and brings much joy to my parents. I am glad they smile and laugh. That's a valuable gift I missed for a long time. I pretend to be an adult man, but while alone I read other people's stories on Reddit and Threads trying to get their experience and learn something new. I feel lost because now I don't know what exactly I want unlike in my 15.
The interpeter's profession is dead here especially with all this politic stuff. I work at an educational institution and manage to play an expert on things I almost loathe. The advice like finding a hobby, walking out and so on don't actually bring any clarity because they're nothing but a fancy set of bandaids. The core of my dissatisfaction is somewhere withing myself. My first and main quest is to be okay with my own company. No one will come to save me at their own expence. Neither I was looking for it. People are people, each one has a unique fight.
Silence is a sufficient answer as well. It's been a year since Vlad joined me on Instagram. I was bombarding the feed with stories (mea culpa) to stay seen (not only by him). It didn't work. I've got to respect his choice to not message. We have the technical capability yet your chat remains empty. The same applies to Ivan from Russia. When I don't give in to my urge to address him with pseudointellectual nonsense or just a photo from my city he remains mostly silent. Good for him, he's got things to do.
I listen to 'Blood Meridian' and I am not impressed so far. The characters move, talk, fight. Wow. I keep listening only because I was told the judge Holden is considered one of the most evil villains the literature knows.