Vlad is back, am I the baddie?
Vlad messaged me on Instagram. Eight(!) years I didn't force myself to write because first I sent him away because of something. And then I lived being sure I didn't have the right to ask for peace. Yet he messaged me on his own... We quickly changed numbers and started talking, it took summarily three hours. He was drinking vodka while talking to me. Maybe this spirit was what pushed him to break my ice.
He didn't accept my theses in the old argument, he never did even back in 2018. But his reasoning was somehow acceptable as well. And I spontaneously decided to move 30 km to meet him on the day after. We talked a lot...
And let me tell you that this story is not only about happy friendship! He was constantly teasing me (hurourlessly) about manning up and how he treated me like a brother (you know, in my area bro culture is rather uncommon). He shook my hand saying among those people who ever ghosted him I was a very rare one who gave some poor reasoning on messenger before vanishing out. Then he shook my hand (he drank vodka) for coming here without losing the moment. Then he warned 'It won't be like it used to. But we can try to start over'. Okay, that stang a little. Buuuuuuut I had so desperate emotional attachment to this bad boyo that I don't miss this used-to-times. When I tried to share very sensitive parts of my life to explain some of the core weird parts of my behaviour he couldn't undestand (I wrote it all on my 'About' page) he replied he doesn't need 'whining'. This verbal slap woke up some slight animosity in myself. Okay, fine, I will never ever bore you with sincerity. As for Vlad, he started a long monologue about his life...
The next day, i.e. today he invited me twice to hang out together. I don't get it. When we departed he gave me a bear hug. Excuse me? What is going on? Am I bad or good in his eyes?
Something evil lures within my mentality. No intentions to hurt anyone, it's just I am angry my apologetics was taken as a chance to stomp on my insecurities I shared back there. They stayed between us three: me, Vlad and his glass of vodka.