Unusual activity, act two
The day started with the second mail from Instagram that I had been banned for 'unusual activity'. It had happened before but I managed to restore the access. Today, at 6AM, I received the same beep on my phone. I don't know why was I given this flag but still I gave up on using Meta so I deleted the account for good. I don't want to stay on alert for nothing. I had real photos, including those that had my face. I chatted with people I know in real life. Everything was fine. Too good I have all of them on other platforms.
I was delusional to think I get to know Ivan better than before, that we really were friends whatever he meant by this definition. But under several last days I felt so awkward around him... This is useless to get into details here but I realised I was stupid beyond imagination to consider I could be soulmate for someone who lives thousands and thousands away, who's richer and more ambitious. My silent company of sophistics, foreign languages and funny academic things aren't to keep a guy from Russian province hooked to keep talking, right? He boasted many times he had many 'cool' friends and so on. He even admitted I was the only person in Telegram he never met in person. We are not anonyms, we saw each other many times, we had both voice and video calls. We are 'friends' on VK. And still I feel like I am not interesting to someone like him. I just can't, right?
As far as I read psychology my problem might come from childhood, something called 'unnecessary person'. I wasn't welcome by default, I was seen when I could provide something useful to be forgotten later.
My thought ends here half-baked. I just want to be wanted (not in criminal meaning)