Paranoia and confession
For some reason my phone blocked a random number who had never called me before. As result I had a little weird working situation. I am a tech support specialist for those who register their school projects on natiowide contest. A random teacher couldn't reach to me for three consecutive days only to ask totally normal questions. The story began backwards when I opened my phone and saw another missed call. To my surprise there was a crossed circle icon next to it. I didn't get the meaning and tried first to call back. These days, until the registration was over, having unknown callings was normal for me. I couldn't get them either. When I tried to check the call log I saw about a dozen missed calls from that number. All of them had that crossed circle logo. First beams of nervousness attacked me. What if that's some creep? A fraud? Why did I block them? I must have had a reason to do so... My mood was affected by these reflections.
Finally, I added the number on Viber to guess again who this might be. This messenger is idiotic about privacy and shows both a number and profile picture even if you are a stranger to the number owner. I typed generic ‘Hello, did you call me?’ If that man (as I saw by now) wrote anything slightly weird I’d block him on Viber as well. The ending is stupid but funny: that was a teacher from a school trying to precise little moment on formatting the .pdf file of the project. I helped him and hooray. But i can’t understand even know why was he blocked at all? I never met him before, nor he contacted me.
The frost is leaving us, normal zero enters the scene much to my pleasure. My coworkers disagree with my optimism emphasising that such a weather is helping flu and other petty things spread among people. Any atchoo might become contaminating. Well, I get their point but I can’t don anything about my dislike of anything that doesn’t fit +15 to -5 °C range. I forced myself to go for a walk again trying to stabilise my weak victory of losing another kilo. Many around me say I look much better unlike fatty plushy bear I was in the spring 2025. I’s so hard! Sometimes I drool on bakery. To my luck I am mostly indifferent towards candies. But the temptation of a freshly baked bun is driving me insane.
Ivan was very sincere with me and shared some of his thoughts on seeking a partner. He thinks this is a deviation to stay single in our late twenties and he considers about forcing himself to start a relationship to fit a mold of society expectations. I feel sorry for him and try to persuade that nobody gains in this self harassment. He asked my opinion, a single as well. I said I didn’t mind finding someone to walk through life together but I don’t make it a goal per se. ‘Plus unlike you I grew up among females and I can’t find myself igniting a romantic sparkle with them’. In Ivan’s worldview there is no ‘single’ word, only ‘lonely’ with strong negative connotation. That ‘loneliness’ means dying in a dumpy filthy nowhere crying nobody really loved them. I am not that dramatic. The pinacle of his struggling is he doesn’t want that relationshop and is hurting solely because of what is expected from us.