On social media and vampires
Protocol No. 12. City of X. Country of Y. 15:03 local time. Somehow this humorous beginning breaks the ice of my writing paralysis. I want to vent again, but I didn't manage to formulate thoughts in coherent way until now. Nothing mega is happening, but the life per se is a quite mundane journey. There is nothing bad with that.
I cleared my saved channels on Telegram deleting tons of garbage I once clicked or followed in stupid waiting to learn new things from there. Obviously it never worked. I just got stressed witnessing endless numbers of unread messages I wouldn't have tried to read. Saving information to consume later doesn't work for me. I stored hundreds of useful Persian sentences in Saved messages chat but I never revised them. I got that dopamine hit like 'hooray, I found a piece of wisdom. What a good person I am' And then I let it collect dust there in long forgotten parts of the chat feed. I cleared that as well. My account is now clean in its better sense. Even if I get hacked one day (I really hope I won't) there's nothing valuable here. No photos, no data. Only a dozen of contacts as I delete those I ended my conversation with.
I got enough determination (hello Undertale, old friend) to delete my Instagram. This crappy timevore abonimation finally got me hooked to spend an hour every day to watch people I don't know and don't care about filming their stupid faces in pretended cool places. My rage stamina dropped to zero when I got forcefed with videos about my own country. I got awful mixes of overphotoshopped timelapses, holywoodish epic generic poor excuse for music and some excited happy voice shouting 'Did you know that there is...?!!!' God damn it! I live here. Why do I get content in English about my own country?! If I saved my account to 'educate' then I'd want to learn about places I never was in.
Alyona kept forwarding me staged videos with pranks, hypocrite acts of kindness and other people filming their faces with pathetic text formatted jokes on foreground. With all my respect our interaction tend to become toxic. She doesn't try to understand my point of view. She can watch whatever she wants to. But when I tell her I don't like this format of content she gets annoyed I am a buzzkill or assumes 'we shouldn't have fun at all following this logic'. There is no fun, that's the problem. And... I grew tired being a passive consoomer(!) of others contents. Its creators pursue likes and watches. Good for them. I am done being a part of this attention milking farm. I hit the blue button and now have to wait until February 17th. People from former chapters of my life - live happily. But we didn't try to chat. Then why waiting even more? We've got nine months since April 2025. None of us tried.
For some reason I watch walkthrough of the old Vampire the Masquerade game, the one I liked and disliked at the same time. Vampires are disgusting in my opinion. But the very aesthetics the game offered was splendid. As I discover now Malkavian route is totally different and weirdly enganging.