Lame victory
Ironically, many tracks from early 'Silent hill' games are weirdly calm and cosy. Listening to them takes me back to my weird phase of 2019 which isn't that far actually. After having escaped from one hellish job of selling trucks with incredibly toxic masculinity staff I managed to enter a now liquidated publishing house and find relative peace. Reading manuscripts and turning them into books without the need to stay 8h per day 5/2 was a blessing for me. To think dream job was paid... Anyway I went to the countryside and worked from there. Those July days were very rainy and foggy so I rediscovered Akira Yamaoka again and hence impressed his works as a synonim for a chance to relax amid life hustle.
I keep thinking about switching to Linux. Windows 10 ended its support, and my PC doesn't meet system requirements even though technically it gives everything I need. Here another memoir comes to my mind. When I was presented my first computer in 2005, I spent the first evening copying Mylène Farmer's CD and typing letter by letter the tracks' names. Media player was mesmerising me with abstract hypnotic things as I set the disk defragmentation icon for the folder with the songs. It was weirdly intimate moment for me. Instead of focusing on the computer itself I sat in a dimly lit room listening to 'Ainsi sois-je' I barely could understand.
All the above-mentioned retrospective emphasises that tech per se can be good and helping to live in the moment. A primitive phone with wire headphones in a summer cottage. A loud noisy box with Windows XP bliss as wallpaper. I am not obscurantist, I am a balance seeker. But a lousy box couldn't distract me when I was hanging out with someone. Who am I lying to. I had someone to hang out first place.
Talking back to Linux it felt very nice and clear. I enjoyed that old feeling of a pioneer opening some new continent. I like this simplicity. It just works. And following the simple logic I had to switch back my phone and PC to French from Persian. First, the fonts are too small and mediocre for constant reading the language I don't know that much. Second, and most important, the interface where European left-to-right languages combine with Arabic script, looks like a total mess. The only funny thing I lost was people's surprise when I pulled out my phone to check the time. Persian has its own numbers.
Another day partially wasted on news and garbage. I will win, eventually. At least it's not the whole day. A 'friend' from the furry server ignores my message for a month. It's so sad. It's another time I'm like a stray dog who sought company. Maybe I need to be more of a bitch and don't miss those who don't miss me. No, this isn't bitchiness. This is healthy self-esteem!